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10/04/2009 Wow...that long? Wow...been a long time since I've blogged anything here. Guess I'll blame it on life, love, work and Facebook!  So...if you know this blog is here...then you probably know you are much more likely to find me on Facebook. So...feel free to FR me there if you haven't already... May God Bless you on this wonderful Easter Weekend! Peace! 27/04/2008 Wow...most definitely been awhile... Well...sure has been awhile since I sat down to type here. Been a lot that has gone down in that time. Let's see. Where to start?  Life / Family: * A quick update...last time I visited here or updated anything, Sophie was just over a month old. She's now just turned 8 months old, and started to crawl this past weekend. She's also an absolute DOLL!!! Man, am I blessed! (5 great kids total and a wonderful wife!) Job:* Let's see, last time I wrote anything here I was just "officially" wrapping up my 25 1/2 year career with Yum! Brands (BTW? Mr Novack? Did you enjoy that multi-million $$$ bonus you got this year for the results from 2007 (and that wonderful program of yours called "Resourcing for Growth" that cost this long-time, and On Target or above former employee to lose their job?) Life / Family: * I was also seriously looking into trying to start up my own small restaurant called..."Soupicity" (didn't work out as not enough personal $$$...Mr Novack? Got some spare change you could throw my way?)  Anyway...just not enough cash flow to get it going. GREAT idea that I still am holding on to (especially after you read the next part about my current job)...* So...after stretching my savings to the limit (good by Yum Brand 401K $$$), and exhausting my unemployment compensation (all the way up to the last check)...I finally found a GREAT job! (all in God's Perfect Timing!)  I found a job as the Director of Operations of a small multi-concepts, restaurant company in Indiana. Currently have 7 small (but VERY profitable coffee/Espresso shops, 3 Au Bon Pain Cafe's, and a Mexican Fresh Grill / Bar (airport location)....with MORE to come. The owner is GREAT, most of the people have been GREAT as well, and the business is a challenge, but rewarding as I get things in place. Lots to learn, lots to do. BUT, that's what having a great job is about.* Now for the ironic part. The business I ended up at? VERY MUCH like what I envisioned for Soupicity...without ever knowing about the concept I'm currently operating. VERY odd (funny, odd), but then maybe not if you consider the inspiration I had last Easter for Soupicity. Guess God had in mind a lot for me. The best part? In just 2 months since taking this new role, it has confirmed that I was on the right track with my idea for Soupicity, and even have learned some things that would make it even more successful than I originally thought. Maybe some day? (like 8 years from now when I can finally get access to my Yum! Brand pension?) In the meantime, I plan on taking this as far as I can. We have at least 4-5 new restaurants to open this Fall. (which is an UNBELIEVABLE quantity in this business...especially given that it most likely will all happen within a 2 month time-span).* The bad news from all of this? Well, we're now separated as a family as the new job is 2 hours from our current home, so I'm apartmenting it during the work week, and trying to get home for a day or 2 every once in awhile. It REALLY sucks, and I desperately miss Jenn and the kids all of the time. I feel like I'm missing so much with all of them. Jenn is also working on trying to get the house ready to put on the market so we can try to sell it and be together as a family up in central Indiana before the school year begins in the Fall. * So...given all of the above. It's been tough on everyone with the whole distance thing. We're working through it and making the most of the time we do get. Health:* The other good news? Jenn's work has agreed to keep her on the payroll and allow her to work from home wherever we end up near Indy. That's GREAT news as insurance now is through her work, and it's a nice steady paycheck, and something she really likes to do. Well, one of the other things that I really started to focus on since I last typed anything was/is my health. From November of 2007 till now I've lost over 20 lbs (over 35 total lbs in 2 years)....and for the first time in almost 10 years have got below 200 lbs. A bit of a struggle lately because of the new job. Not continuing my newly acquired good habits, but am at least aware of where I am, and while not losing more, at least not gaining substantial amounts back...yet. Have to continue to stay focused. Good news is that my new Boss is a great inspiration as she lost over 100 lbs over the last 2 years! Hard to believe when I see the "before" pictures. She's done a great job losing it all (and maintaining the loss!) * Dang...I miss it, yet I don't. I'm SO busy on a daily basis that i don't have time to miss it too much. Currently getting about 1-2 hours max gaming time a week...if that. It's all good though as the job is worth it, and the free time I have had, I'd rather drive the 2 hours to see Jenn and the kids. It's a much more rewarding use of my time!  Well I guess that's it for now. BTW? Here's a picture of my littlest angels... 02/09/2007 ...and Baby makes 5...Well, 2 weeks into our new life, it seems as things are settling down into a bit of a routine! Kids are adjusting very well, and overall are being great helps. Sophie seems to be settling into her new surroundings and a bit of a routine also, as well as, Jenn and I. It's funny, how after 9 years of no babies, we still settle in so easily. Our kids are a total blessing! So...other than our newest addition and the start of a new school year, not a lot going on. This week starts my big push on finishing my Soupicity plans, as my 25 years with Yum is up for good as of Monday (and Friday's LAST Yum paycheck). Still a bit surreal when I think about it.... Let's see...what else? Hmmmm... New pict album of the kids over there to the right, titled "The kids, week of 9-1-07". Really enjoying Sophie's getting more aware of her surroundings and starting to react to everyone talking to her. Even starting some smiles!  Jenn and my favorite time of year also starting, FOOTBALL season...and Fall! Love this time of year! Ok, enough for now. Need to go check the smoker as I'm smoking a Beef Brisket and Slab o' Ribs today! Take Care and God Bless! 18/08/2007 She's HERE!!!!!!Well, she's finally made it! Little Miss Sophie Rae has arrived! Vitals: 9lbs. (even) 22.5" long (VERY Long!) No picts yet, as everything happened quite quickly once she decided she wanted to be here.  Hope to have some updates later today!Jenn and Sophie are both doing very well! Here's a few picts. More (+ a video) can be found on Jenn's Blog 15/08/2007 Randon Bhloughts XIIThought I'd drop a quick update on life, love and the pursuit of happiness...
30/07/2007 Random Blhoughts XIWell, thought I'd spend just a little time today catching up on life, love and the pursuit of God! "Life"... Had an excellent (and event-filled) weekend! Let's see. A lot sure occurred this weekend... - Mom and Dad came down to spend some time here (in between trips to Corrie's....more on that in a minute) - Mom, Dad and myself went to see Kyle (and Brandon and Tina - Pict Below) in Indy at the Drum Corp International Event at the RCA Dome (Pict below and more picts to the right...Kyle is 2nd from left in "Tenor Drummers") - Corrie, Adam and Zeke welcomed Ethne Joy into their household this weekend! (see above) Congrats Sis! Here's a pict of my newest niece...(below) "Love"... - We still eagerly await our own, hopefully soon-to-arrive, bundle of joy also...Sophie Rae - Celebrating Mom and Dad's 49th Anniversary this past week, and Jenn & my 14th this week!  "The Pursuit of God" - Anyone that has ever read even one entry in my blog knows that this is an ongoing part of my life (and most often a struggle...on my part), the continual pursuit of God! Had a GREAT service with a GREAT message yesterday at church...and this morning I was bound and determined to try once again to start my day with devotions, a return to reading the next chapter in "A Purpose Driven Life" and more work on the business plan for Soupicity! So...what do I come across during my search through Crosswalk.com but a very appropriate (and applicable) blog entry titled "Think You're Strong Enough to Fulfill God's Will for You? Really? Still?" from a writer named John Shore (Suddenly Christian). Talk about timely, and right on point, etc...etc...etc... WOW! Feel free to check out his blog and especially his "Conversion" entries. It's a powerful and inspiring story! I felt some kinship with him as I read through it and remembered back to the things that occurred in my own life back around the same time (My Testimony). Good Stuff! So...probably need to get started on Chapter 22 in APDL. The chapter is titled, "Created to Become Like Christ". What's ironic is that I'm not sure why I've struggled with starting this chapter as I've done a bit of reading of it already and it's an exciting, thought-provoking chapter...and exactly what I do need...  Take Care and God Bless! Be back in a bit with my thoughts on it (and some more picts from this weekend)! 23/07/2007 Random Blhoughts XWell another week or so has gone by...and we find ourselves a bit closer to the arrival of Sophie Rae. We're excited and just wish she'd get here! Still struggling with other things...as is my way. Struggle to keep God first in my life, struggling to do the things that help me in that regard, struggling to get the rest of my plan done for the restaurant. I guess primarily it's because I know we have absolutely no resources/funds until mid-September so some of the important things like getting my layout/drawings "professionally" done needs to wait until then. There is some good news (if we can get the timing right), I found 2 new locations right where I originally hoped to be, both of a size and price that would fit in my plans (layout and financials). Though my faith may be lacking at times lately, I just have to have faith that God will provide and the timing will end up being perfect as only God's timing is. Sometimes this "blah" feeling is for the birds and I struggle to push on through. I have moments of success (as an example, last week made a number of important contacts in regard to the restaurant, AND even came up with 2 new layouts to fit the newly found spaces)...it's just that I turn right back into feeling like I've hit a wall (spiritual?). On the "good" side, we had a very nice weekend with Katie's 9th Birthday (and swim party)! Hard to believe she's heading toward "double digits", lol. Also, Adam and Corrie's church continues to do well, and we await her delivery soon also. Be interesting if Jenn and her end up having the babies at the same time...  Let's see, what else? Hmmm...next weekend get to see Kyle perform in Indy at one of the DCI competitions. Hope to have some picts and possibly vids to post. Well, think that's it for now. Hopefully I'll be back here soon, possibly continuing my self-interrupted reading of "A Purpose Driven Life"? 10/07/2007 Random Blhoughts IX...Been a bit again since I was last on...let's see what's transpired in life lately? - Baby...still on her way. Down to the last 5-6 weeks. Getting very excited to meet little Miss Sophie!  - Faith...as usual, struggling a little bit to stay focused on the objectives of my Faith Walk. I constantly pray for guidance and perseverance and then go my own way. Maybe one of these days?  (and of course, a little bit behind on my "Purpose Driven Life" reading...)  - Soupicity...about 95% done with the plan, but really have kind of hit a mental wall... At the point of having to price all equipment, smallwares and initial food stocking orders. Have found a suitable site also. Just need to try to pull everything together...SOON! - Gaming...Just returned Sunday from the MWC (mwcgamers.com) Southeast Get-Together down in Atlanta. Was a fun time getting to meet a few of the folks I game with. Picts added up in the Pict area of my blog. Well that's the quick catch-up. Hopefully I can get back into the swing of things this week on most, if not all of this? 24/06/2007 A Purpose Driven Life - Day 21 - "Protecting Your Church"Day 21 is the last of the Section, "You were formed for God's Family", and is an important reminder of how important it is to be active in our "protection" of our church and church family. It's also an important reminder for me personally that the only way to be able to "protect" my church is to be ACTIVE in my church!. Here are some key highlight topics from the chapter...
Point to Ponder: It is my responsibility to protect the unity of my church Verse to Remember: "Let us concentrate on the things which make for harmony and the growth of our fellowship together." Romans 14:19 Question to Consider: What am I personally doing to protect unity in my church family right now? 19/06/2007 Random Blhoughts "X"? PLUS "A Purpose Driven Life - Day 20"Well, not sure where I'm at in my "Random Blhoughts" series, so I'll go with " #? ". A few things to rattle off and then I'll dive into my thoughts from reading of Day 20 from APDL. (a side note...in looking back, it's actually RB #X or #10)  First, it's been an interesting, and blessed, week. Beginning with not getting the Applebee's job, to figuring out some hurdles with our finances and my vision for Soupicity, to seeing God at work on Corrie and Adam's lives and their church, "The Orchard", and to being able to spend some time not only with them, but with Mom and Dad this past weekend on Father's Day. It was a real blessing to spend some time with all of them and to see what's going on with their new church building (well OLD building, new to them) http://www.emergingorchard.blogspot.com/Hmmm...what else? How about Kyle (my 17-year old)? He's spending the summer touring the country with the Pioneer Drug and Bugle Corps. He is part of the Drum Corp and plays the Tenor Drum (and he's VERY good!) We're very proud of him and wish him the best! BTW? If you've never seen a D&BC performance live, you should check their schedule for a performance near you. They are VERY exciting to watch and listen to! Also...make sure to check out the YouTube vids available. Specifically the Drum Line Vid . The Tenors are on the left-side of the screen, Kyle is second from the right in the 5 tenors. (2nd chair). Soupicity...well, we've decided that the Applebee's job answer (NO!) was a shut door from God and we're pushing forward with the restaurant plans. We've figured out a way to contribute some personal cash to the start-up, unfortunately those funds won't be available until mid-September. We're not discouraged though as we are really trying to trust in God's timing here. I'm looking at it as also gives me a chance to really get everything in order. This past week I finished the first draft of the Business Plan all the way up to (and in to) the financials. Now we need to finish the financials from a start-up perspective (building rent, equipment and smallware lists, initial food supply stocking and building layout & design). We also are praying about how/where to get some mentoring. It's popped into my head often that we should contact our church office for some possible suggestions on local business people from the church (lawyers, accountants, etc..) who may have a passion for helping small business get up and going. We're going to continue to seek God's guidance on this. Either way, I hope to be heading into the local SBA office during the first week or so of July to share the business plan and see where we go from there. Pregnancy...Well, Jenn continues to do well, and we continue to move closer. We're now only 8 weeks away. Time sure has flown (lol...of course, I'm not sure she'd agree) I think we've decided on a name. A little old fashioned, but it was Jenn's choice, and it feels right and has a real sweetness to it. So... our darling new little daughter will be named...Sophie Rae. (Rae is Jenn's Mom's middle name, and her Grandfather was named "Ray"). It all just has a nice little charm to it! (of course, if by chance the sonograms were wrong, we always have Bryson Nathanial waiting in the wings!)  Ok..time to get in to Day 20 of A Purpose Driven Life. Day 20 - "Restoring Broken Fellowship" This was an interesting chapter, as there are plenty of great principles to keep in mind about restoring relationships. Many I've used in the past, even more that I failed to. It also brought to mind something that's been on my heart often since coming back to God in 1998. That would be the problems/issues between different church denominations. It's very sad when I see/hear of strife within the church or between churches. It's tough enough to reach the lost at times without making it more difficult by not being able to display God's love within our own 4-walls or from congregation-to-congregation. Here then are the 7 Biblical Principles: 1) Talk to God before talking to the person we are restoring fellowship/relationship with. Pretty self-explanatory, but a step often missed or not spent enough time in. 2) Always take the initiative. 3) Sympathize with their feelings. LISTEN for their feelings. 4) Confess your part of the conflict. 5) Attack the problem, not the person. 6) Cooperate as much as possible. 7) Emphasize reconciliation, not resolution. Reconciliation focuses on the relationship, whereas resolution focuses on the problem. Day 20: Thinking about my purpose: Point to Ponder: Relationships are always worth restoring Verse to Remember: "Do everything possible on your part to live in peace everyday." Romans 12:18 Question to Consider: Who do I need to restore a broken relationship with today? Here's the link to some picts from their week of work. It's amazing how far they've come in a short while, it's even more amazing to see how much God is blessing them and their congregation! Check out the link for some picts and some of Adam's thoughts! 13/06/2007 A Purpose Driven Life -Day 19Day 19 - "Cultivating Community" This chapter is interesting to me because it talks about where Jenn and I SHOULD be as a couple as it relates to building and cultivating relationships at church. Of course, the main themes are applicable to any group, and it's there where I'll start practicing the principles. Hopefully, I (we) will also be able to eventually put them into practice in a small group at church. Principles of Day 19: - Community requires commitment - Cultivating community takes honesty, caring enough to speak the truth, even in tough circumstances. Frankness, NOT rudeness sometimes is required. - Cultivating community takes humility. Pride builds walls between people, humility builds bridges. - Cultivating community takes courtesy. Courtesy is respecting our differences, being considerate of each other's feelings, and being patient with people who irritate us. - Cultivating community takes confidentiality! - Cultivating community takes frequency Day 19 - Thinking about my purpose: Point to Ponder: Community requires commitment Verse to remember: "We understand what love is when we realize that Christ gave his life for us. That means we must give our lives for other believers." 1 John 3:16 (GWT) Question to Consider: How can I help cultivate today the characteristics of real community in my small group and church? 12/06/2007 A new day...a new perspective...So...yesterday was an interesting day...and today I think I have it back in perspective a bit. A few things are helping: - Prayer for me from a fellow gamer last night in the game lobby was absolutely God-inspired and right on the mark. There was NO mistaking God's presence during that time. Thanks JR! - This morning I open up an email from my Dad that he sent to me right after I had called him about not getting the Applebee's position. He occasionally forwards me emails from "The Spirit of Prophesy Bulletin". Guess I need to pay more attention to these in the future. Here's the opening to yesterday's... June 11, 2007: "What are these burdens you bear? They are not yours to carry, but are Mine to attend to. Cause them to be borne on the wind of the Spirit as you release these things in prayer to Me. And, trust Me to hear your prayers and to take action. Consider which is more effective -- your own human effort to work things out or My divine intervention into the circumstances that concern you. I tell you that I am able to move on your behalf in ways that you have not yet even imagined", says the Lord. Matthew 21:22 "And whatever things you ask in prayer, believing, you will receive." Talk about timely...and relevant! Wow! - Today I began working again on the business plan for the restaurant, and I've been VERY encouraged again. Maybe God is trying to get a point across to me that there's a reason He put the idea for this restaurant in my heart in the first place? Ok...so LOTS to look at and consider about what's going on right now, and ALL of it points back to the need for me to trust in God to help point me in the right direction, pave the way on roads I can't even see, and open doors that I've never considered. That's it for now...go back to what you were doing...and have a GREAT...and blessed day! 11/06/2007 Hmmm...not a great day, job-wise...
Well, I guess I'm still not sure exactly what God wants for us or where
he wants us. Today I received a call from the recruiter that I've been
working with for the Applebee's job. Unforuntately it's a no-go at this
time due to my lack of direct reports over the last 5 years while I was
doing developmental roles at Yum!, They did offer to talk to me
about one of the positions that would have reported into the job I was
looking for though, and while the salary would be similar to what I had with
Yum! Brands, it's actually a step backward career/position-wise and
would require a move to the DC area where cost of living is
substantially higher than here in the Midwest. So... It's back to the drawing board. Some of you know that I have also been slowly working on a business plan for a restaurant of my own, so this week will be hoping to move substantially forward on the completion of that, so I can at least put in front of the SBA / bank for consideration for a loan. So x 2... For those so inclined and visit this site even occasionally, I continue to seek after your prayers in support of me being open to God's plans. I admit to totally being at a loss right now in understanding His will, let alone seeing it....and while I do trust him, I so need help in discerning His guidance and direction...and not my own. You see it's getting down to the wire, my severance package from Yum is due to end on 9/4, my insurance ends at that time, and most importantly about 2 weeks before that severance runs out, Sophie Rae is due (our 3 child). I understand it's ALL under HIS control, just getting a bit panicky personally if you understand what I mean? If you read thru all of this rambling...thanks. I'll be equally as thankful if you keep me, my family and this situation in your prayers. Thank you! God Bless! A Purpose Driven Life - Day 18First I'll start by going back and looking at Day 17's QTC..."Does my level of involvement in my local church demonstrate that I love and am committed to God's family?" Great question (but then most all of the QTC have been!)...anyway...I remember something Pastor Rick (Life Christian Church, STL) said about how you can sometimes tell a lot about a person's spiritual state by where they're sitting in the congregation , and while it's a bit of a generalization, there's some truthfulness in what he said... - When someone first is seeking or exploring, it's very possible that you'll find them seated in the back pews/rows, maybe even the balcony (if it applies)....and Sunday may be the only day of the week you find them at church or associating with church activities. - When someone starts to get on fire for Christ, you can see that they've moved about 1/3 of the way up toward the front and start attending an additional church activity (and additional service, class, etc..) - When someone REALLY starts to get on fire and really begins to have a desire to share their experience about what Christ has done for them, you might see them move even closer to the front (front 1/3 of congregation) - When someone is overflowing with the Spirit and with connecting with God, you might easily see them fighting to get in the front row, at every service, Bible study, small group, etc... AND...here's the rub...what happens when someone struggles with their Walk? ...the complete opposite of everything you see above! Again, it is a bit of a generalization, but what he described (and what my interpretation of what he said above) is exactly what I have seen in my own life... - When I'm on fire and REALLY seeking after God, I can't get to church quick enough, nor can I get "enough" (of Bible teaching, worship, praise, prayer, etc...) and I'm much more likely to be involved in extra curricular activities at church, though, even when on fire I've struggled with getting involved at the level of a small group, or a "men's group. - When I'm struggling, I struggle to want to get out of bed or even the house on Sunday mornings, let alone be involved in church activities, and IF I go to church it's most definitely with me sitting in the back...as if I'm not worthy to be in front. It's quite entertaining in retrospect and quite revealing. It's also as if I expect that God won't pay attention to me if I'm further back in the congregation. The funny thing is THAT is where he most often deals with me the most. Which then gets me back to the Day 17 QTC...my interaction, or lack there of, does speak to the fact that my faith, weak as it is, is still pretty self (or at most "family") oriented. There's definitely a need for us (Jenn and I) to get more involved as a couple. God has REALLY blessed our marriage and brought us to an understanding of how important He is to our marriage and it's continued success. We NEED to be able to share those things with other in our church community. In looking back through all I just wrote, there still is a lot to explore with this topic, but I'm not sure I have it all organized in my head right now, so I'll move onto Day 18. One last note though before that... Recently I have come into contact with a group of believers on Xbox LIVE called the "Sons of God" clan / " Hardcore Christian Gamers " and while it is still early I have really been blessed so far by both participating with them and gaming with them! Last night we even had a weekly "prayer meeting" in the lobby of one of my fav games, GRAW2. To say that THAT was an amazing experience would be an understatement! Very neat, and something I look forward to doing again soon. Small steps toward getting involved on a smaller group / personal basis is a good start. One other very cool thing about finding the SOG/HCG group is the number of MWC people who are finding their way to the HCG forums too. VERY cool! Ok... Day 18 - "Experiencing Life Together" The emphasis on this day/chapter is a continued emphasis on the importance of "fellowship" with fellow believers. Here are the keys that I see in the chapter... Fellowship is important because... - In fellowship with other believers we can experience "authenticity". In other words, the closeness of fellowship can lead to honest and genuine heart to heart sharing, especially in a small group - The chapter talks about "mutuality", or the art of giving and receiving, showing the importance of BOTH in relationships. - In real fellowship, people experience "sympathy" or maybe even better..."empathy". It's really interesting to me, that the more I actively seek after God, the more empathy I DO feel toward others! - Fellowship is a place of Mercy and Grace... - It's important for true fellowship to have forgiveness in out heart. - The chapter also talks about the different "levels" of fellowship (simplest to deepest)... * Fellowship of sharing Day 18 - Thinking about my purpose:* Fellowship of studying God's Word * Fellowship of serving (others) * Fellowship of suffering (deepest empathy for others, leading to "carrying other's burdens". Point to Ponder: I need others in my life. Verse to remember: "Share each other's troubles and problems, and in this way obey the law of Christ." Gal 6:2 (NLT) Question to Consider: What one step can I take today to connect with another believer at a more genuine, heart to heart level? Well, that's it for today. Lots to contemplate. Hope you have a great day and that God blesses you in some wonderful way today!!! 09/06/2007 My Testimony and Other Assorted God ThingsIt's funny to me. One of the things I had planned back in the Summer of 2005 when I started this was to write down my testimony and some other assorted, "What has God done for me" things. Looking back through my archives, I realized I never did that (or if I did, I'm sure not finding them). I also realized how absolutely petty I can be at times when I looked back through my blog entries...for that I am sorry! Anyway...while there are some embarrassing tirades back there, there are also some great blog entries of my "recipes" and even some on life and it's luxury's but not as much as I think I originally hoped about what God has done in my life. So before I get to Day 18 of A Purpose Driven Life, I thought I'd do some pasting and copying. You see, recently I found a website/forum through the Xbox.com forums. The forum "Hardcore Christian Gamers" can be found here: http://9mmpreacher.proboards102.com/index.cgi The group is a bit more diverse age-wise than that of mwcgamers.com where I've spent many hours over the last 2.5 years (i.e...more, younger gamers at HCG than MWC), but that doesn't seem to matter, in fact I find it refreshing that there are some young Christian gamers out there who are seeking a place with common morals / beliefs, especially given the challenges of today. Anyway, it really has been a blessing so far both to game with them (especially given their stance on profanity) and to share/read many of the thoughts on their forum boards. While I'm not naturally as evangelistic as many there are, it's good to read about their experiences, their struggles and victories, and prayer needs. It's equally as cool to be able to share some of my "God" experiences, like my testimony, and like the dream/vision I had back in 1979 of the Rapture. Both are things I've only shared with a few, and had never written down either. So without further adieu, here is first, My Testimony, which is then followed by the written account of a dream I had in 1979. Phidave's Testimony: ...and with that the story begins... As I said in my intro thread (at the HCG Forums), I'm a 46 yr old father of 4 with one on the way (baby girl - due 8/16). My journey has been typical I guess of many who grew up with a church background... i.e ...rebellion, often... through most of my youth, young adulthood...and even still today.  I was raised in a church-going family....and I was raised to know who God and Jesus was in the Methodist church in my hometown. I knew the stories as well as anyone and even did my stints as a choir singer, soloist, alter boy, etc...and with all of that I was still a pretty messed up kid. I remember the day (but not the date) when I was around 12-13 that I first asked God into my heart. As with many times in my life though it was about the words spoken much more than a heart-felt seeking. Which meant that I then have spent most of the next 35 years seeking after my own ways (fill in pretty much any and all of the 7 deadly sins here). Now I say that not to sound flippant, but rather to help you understand the arduous, but ultimately triumphant journey I've been on. God has blessed me despite myself. I spent moments in my teens seeking after Him (Lay Witness Missions, Retreats, Revivals, etc...)...and even more running away from Him. I spent most of my 20's seeking after the pleasures of this carnal life...and not in the pleasures of His peace and grace. I contributed greatly to ruining my first marriage and seriously impacted the life of my now 22 yr old son because of it. I started a second marriage under some pretty bad circumstances and continued most of my rebellious ways... up until January 2, 1998 (at about 2:30PM CST) that is... ...it was that day that I attribute to God stepping in and saying...ENOUGH!!! So..a little more background leading to that day. For the record, I'm a bit over-weight, out-of-shape, and at that time in 1998 was about a 4-5 pack a day smoker. Yeah I was your classic chain-smoker...one burning in the tray as the next one was lit, etc...physically I was in pretty bad shape that Christmas week in 1997. Jenn (my 2nd and LAST Wife) had just found out that she was pregnant with our 2nd child (a girl - Kaitlin) in the beginning of that December...and it was that occasion that I believe God used to send me a strong message. During that last week prior to Jan 2nd, 2 things happened that changed me and my life forever. 1) I had a terrible nightmare one night. One that looking back on, I believe was an absolutely demonic/spiritual-type attack. The nightmare was one that basically told me I was not going to live to see my daughter be born (and all of the hideous things that were going to happen to me). That nightmare was simply one of the most unpleasant things that has ever happened to me in my life. 2) Basically within a day or two of that nightmare, I found myself laying on an x-ray table in a hospital in Florissant, Mo. having my lungs x-rayed because I had been having some pretty bad physical symptoms...and really thought something was wrong (BTW..there WASN'T). So...there I lay at about 2:30PM on that table, by myself...and realized that I just couldn't do it any longer by myself....so I simply said, "God, I don't know if you're there or not...or if you're even listening...but I CAN'T do this anymore by myself and don't want to!...and I desperately want to see my daughter be born.." and with that everything changed...immediately! God stopped my smoking. Simply put. I haven't had a desire for a cigarette since. Call it cold turkey, call it whatever, I called it (and still do) a miraculous healing of that addiction. He also then put me on a path seeking after him, and in a GREAT Bible-teaching, worship-centered church in St. Louis, Life Christian Church (where we were at the time). He brought my 2nd wife, Jenn, who had basically never been in a church much beyond getting married in one, to a Saving Faith in Him! He turned around everything in our lives. He healed MANY past spiritual and emotional wounds. Now with all of that said...I'm eternally grateful for all He's done for us up to this point and for all I expect He continues to do for us, which leads me to the title of this thread... ..Crisis Christianity... This is where my "testimony" continues. I've found myself many times in the last 9 years returning to some of my old self-centered, prideful, and sinful ways. I've been on many mountain tops during these past 9 years, but even more self-imposed valleys...often finding myself returning to Him primarily due to a "crisis", NOT because I'm continually seeking after Him. Thus the term "Crisis" Christian....and it's that I'm now trying to turn around for His good. I so want to not be a "crisis" Christian and to start doing the things I know I need to do daily. Those are the things I pray for...Focus...on Him, Seeking...after Him, all the while doing the things that will help to build up my faith and strengthen my walk daily. So... I guess this is as a good of a place as any to temporarily halt my sharing of my testimony. Since it's an ever evolving story anyway, I'm sure there will be more to add in the future. Thanks to those that make this forum possible and for the sharing it encourages! God Bless! Here then is my testimony of a dream that I received in 1979 also concerning "The Rapture": So...I mentioned above the dream I had the Summer of my 18th year (1979) about the rapture. While I have shared this with a few over the years, I've never written it down. For some reason, I feel compelled to now... So...to rewind a bit first...during the summer of my 17th year and into my 18th yr I was doing fairly well in my faith. I was attending an Assembly of God church with my parents (they'd left the Methodist church a year or so previously for various reasons), I had been "filled with the Spirit" and regularly prayed about what I read in the New Testament about the End Times, and the Rapture (though the term Rapture is never specifically mentioned in the Bible), etc...I was REALLY interested in understanding and really implored God in my prayers to help me understand it all... So...the dream happened at about 2:30AM one night. In the dream I was a bit older than 18yrs old, and was standing next to a younger boy (10ish it seemed) in the parking lot of my hometown newspaper (where I worked in the Distribution Dept since I was 16). It was late afternoon / early evening... In the dream, we had just gotten out of a car, when the boy said, "hey look at those clouds over there! Aren't they really cool?" (while he pointed to the southwest...which also was in the direction of where our local library stood). So I turned to look up at where he was pointing (Southwest and over our local library) and saw this very cool cloud formation blocking the sun (think what really cool looking thunderclouds look like before a storm). Then, as I was about to comment that they were cool, the clouds began "opening up" and a bright light came shooting down (laser-like)...and a trumpet sounded...LOUD. Next a huge "hand" started reaching down out of the opening in the cloud while a song played (so that I clearly heard it)...the refrain was from an arrangement of a song about Psalms 121 that we had performed in HS choir and it seemed to be sung by the angels I saw by the opening in the cloud..."It shall be revealed...it shall be revealed" (over and over, but not in an obnoxious way...rather in a very cool, spine-tingling way)... Next I saw people being lifted into the air around me and in the distance, not a lot of people, but definitely a lot, dotted across the sky. The boy next to me also started to raise up and I grasped his hand and also began being lifted up... (all the while the song of the 121st Psalm played in the background)... It was at this point, as I fell backward from the sky (you know, the "falling" feeling you get in dreams sometimes), that I woke up...with the echoes of the song in my head, drenched in sweat, shaking from head to toe. I had the most indescribable feeling and just started praising God and thanking Him. It was probably a good hour before I was able to even think about sleep...everything was so vivid both during the dream and after...and still is to this day... Now a bit about that dream through the 28 yrs since I had it... - there have been many times in my life since that night that I've looked to the sky in longing for those clouds, just at the right spot...and just as many that I've been fearful of looking up only to see them and then be left behind... - I've always taken this dream for what I felt it was, confirmation that God will lift His Believers from this earth at some point. When? Who besides God knows? I just know that in all my struggles through the years since then, when I've not been walking in Faith the way I should be, the memory of this dream and seeing those clouds somewhat haunts me and when I've turned my heart around to face Him, and seek after Him, this dream comes back to my mind as a reminder of what I believe to be the future... Wow, it's very cool to look back through both my testimony and "the dream" and to remember ALL that God has done for me in my 46 years, so much of it despite myself. I am truly blessed! Take Care, God Bless! 08/06/2007 A Purpose Driven Life - Day 17First let me say that if you haven't yet, check out www.enterhisgates.com for GREAT Praise and Worship music. Been listening a lot while on the PC and it's a real blessing. I use the "standalone WMP" option. Awesome!! So...a quick "life" thing before getting into "Day 17" of APDL... - Had my second interview yesterday for a possible position with a major casual restaurant chain. The position is for "Associate Director of Training". I think it went well, just praying to be open to God's plan about it and to trust Him! Will post here as soon as I hear anything. Ok...now to APDL Day 17 - "A Place to Belong" First a quick reflection back on Day 16's QTC ("Honestly, are relationships my first priority? How can I ensure that they are?) - Wow...deep question. Honestly? Probably not, most of the time, unless my relationship to myself, my games and my other distractions count? - I obviously can see a difference when I'm seeking after God in ALL of my relationships. I work harder then (which is good). I guess it all comes down to priorities. Prioritizing God, family and others above "things" and activities is the key for me personally...and it STARTS with putting God first. If THAT relationship is a priority than the others easily become priorities also, especially the "family" ones. I still need God's help with the church ones though...as you'll see later in this entry for "Day 17". There are definitely some important messages in this section, especially for me, someone who at times struggles to get his butt out of bed on Sunday mornings, or that lets my "busyness" keep me away from the fellowship of church on Sundays. I know there are many others that struggle with this also. Here are some things that stood out to me in this chapter... - "Even in the perfect, sinless environment of Eden, God said 'It is not good for man to be alone.' (Genesis 2:18) We are created for community, fashioned for fellowship, and formed for a family, and none of us can fulfill God's purpose by ourselves." - "Following Christ includes belonging, not just believing." - "While your relationship to Christ is personal, God never intends it to be private." - "Disconnected and cut-off from the lifeblood of a local body, your spiritual life will wither and eventually cease to exist." (Eph 4:16) That is why the FIRST symptom of spiritual decline is usually inconsistent attendance at worship services..." - "The person who says, 'I don't need the church' is either arrogant or ignorant." For those that might read this who have issues with the shenanigans that sometimes seem to go on in "organized religion", please remember the following... - It's become VERY clear to me on reflection through this chapter how very wrong I've been with letting things like that get in the way of my spiritual relationships and church fellowship for too long...and it's really just an excuse, because it's my belief that God will lead you to the church He wants you at...if you seek, and diligently seek after His direction and guidance! There are MANY churches, of many denominations and "NON-denominationals" that are seeking after the heart of God. It's there that I believe He'll lead you if you ask for his guidance! - Remember...we should never expect "perfection" from those who attend church, rather we need to remember that we ALL are sinners and have fallen short of the Glory of God! I EXPECT to find sinners in church! - By choosing to only "worship" on are own (i.e..."I believe that I can have my own relationship with God, separate from the church"), we / you are missing out on important fellowship and relationships. God MEANT for us to fellowship and worship with other believers! It's part of what can help to build us up spiritually! AND to help us not slide into...backsliding! Day 17: Thinking about my purpose Point to Ponder: I am called to belong, not just believe. Verse to remember: "In Christ we are who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others." Romans 12:5 Question to Consider: Does my level of involvement in my local church demonstrate that I love and am committed to God's family? That's it for today! Please have a BLESSED Day! God Bless, Take Care! 07/06/2007 A Purpose Driven Life - Day 16Day 16 - “What Matters Most” It’s all about “LOVE”. Pretty much sums it up. From God’s love displayed to us from the beginning of time, to the love we have for family, friends and strangers. It’s all about the love. It’s my belief that a life centered on LOVE will lead to God’s Grace being readily visible. Hope that makes sense? The portion of the chapter that talks about how we let “busyness” get in our way of our relationship with God is very eye-opening. It’s been very true for me when I reflect on the last 9 years (wow 9 years!) since God brought me back. I most definitely have not always put God first or shown Him that He is “what matters most” (since He IS Love!). I guess this chapter also gets me contemplating the legacy I’m leaving my children. Guess I haven’t shown them good priority setting skills with my emphasis for many of the recent years on “me” and my time? (prayer time!) Father? PLEASE help me to continue to change how I live my life, especially as it comes to prioritizing those things that are important most, you and my relationship with you, my family, from Jenn to the kids...ALL of my kids! Please, through the Holy Spirit, convict me when I need it. Help remind me of the true “pecking order” that is centered on you first. I know it’s ok to have “personal” time, but help me to give priority in my mind and heart to you, my family and other people first. In Jesus’ name! Amen Sponge…Oh how much I feel this need to be a “sponge” again…continually soaking up everything I can of God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. I can FEEL the need, and the excitement just contemplating that! Here’s the last few paragraphs from Ch 16. I think they’re important enough to record down here as a reminder… “Why is now the best time to express love? Because you don’t know how long you will have the opportunity. Circumstances change. People die. Children grow up. You have no guarantee of tomorrow. If you want to express love, you had better do it now. Knowing that one day you will stand before God, here are some questions you need to consider: - How will you explain those times when projects or “things” were more important to you than people? - Who do you need to spend more time with? - What do you need to cut out of your schedule to make that possible? - What sacrifices do you need to make? The best use of life is love. The best expression of love is time. The best time to love is now!” Point to Ponder: Life is all about love. Verse to remember: “the entire law is summed up in a single command: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself’” Gal. 5:14 Question to Consider: Honestly, are relationships my first priority? How can I ensure they are? A Purpose Driven Life - Day 15Day 15- “Formed for God’s Family” Point to Ponder: I was formed for God’s Family Verse to remember: “His unchanging plan has always been to adopt us into His own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ’” Ephesians 1:5a Question to Consider: How can I start treating other believers like members of my own family? Day 15 - Wrap Concerning the QTC for Day 15, I don’t think I have too much of an issue with how I treat other Believers, in fact, I think I’m very friendly/loving to all I meet at church, neighborhood, and online interactions…most of the time. The problem probably lies more in the “fellowship” time spent with other Believers. I struggle to take a step to get us more directly involved in more activities with other Believers (like Home Groups as one example) beyond the typical Sunday morning. (of course, I have struggled with just the Sunday part many times…but that comes out of selfishness / laziness more than anything else.). I’m not sure what drives the lack of interaction with say a home group? Is it just another part of not giving God my (our) all? Have to spend some more time contemplating that. One positive is that it would give us some “friends”, something that I guess we struggle with outside of acquaintances at work. Maybe God will open some doors for us either here (if we don’t move) or KC (if I get the job I’m trying for), or where ever He sends us? Definitely is something I (we) need to work on…and as with everything, I know (we) can with God’s help! A Purpose Driven Life - Day 14Day 14- “When God Seems Distant” Concerning Day 13’s “Question to Ponder” For me, I think it’s a mixture of both. My hope is that both are pleasing to Him. My focus right now needs to be focused first toward my private worship, whether thru devotions, bible reading, prayer or having the discipline to complete this series. As with anything I do, structure is so vitally important. I need to make God the priority by moving those things that I need to do for Him to the first priority in my daily routine. This is a great chapter for me to come back to in the future…often. One of the premises it discusses early on is that the “deepest level of worship is praising God in spite of pain, thanking God during a trial, trusting Him when tempted, surrendering while suffering, and loving Him when He seems distant.” While I understand all of that AND believe it, I sometimes find that my challenge is worshiping and praising Him when things are going Great!?! It gets to the heart of what I call “Crisis Christianity”…i.e.… focusing in on God ONLY due to a “crisis”. While it’s important to trust in Him and seek after Him during those times, it’s equally important to do those things when things are going well in life. And THAT is my trap. I need to make sure that no matter what the circumstances, bad or good, I need to continue to put Him first in my life and continue to seek after Him. Day 14- “When God Seems Distant” Point to Ponder: God is real, no matter how I feel. Verse to remember: “For God has said, ‘I will never leave you; I will never abandon you.’” Question to Consider: How can I stay focused on God’s presence, especially when He feels distant? Concerning Day 14’s Question to Consider: I think that there are a number of things I need to do when God seems distant. - Continue to pray and seek after Him - Continue to stay in the Word through Bible reading and daily devotions - Continue to surround myself with Christian music (praise music especially) - Make sure we are focused on regular church attendance. A Purpose Driven Life - Day 13Day 13 - “Worship That Pleases God” I mentioned this back on Day 10. I know it’s so important to not only be constantly worshipping God but to focus my worship properly. This Day’s topic covers off very well the things I need to consider / remember about my worship…especially in pleasing God with worship that is “authentic”! Point to Ponder: God wants ALL of me! Verse to remember: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.” Mark 12:30 Question to Consider: Which is more pleasing to God right now - my public worship or my private worship? What will I do about this? |
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